Remembrances
by lululily
Summary: Schneizel meets Lelouch for the first time. Each chapter explores a memory from Lelouch's childhood. Other siblings may make appearances. (Previously First Encounter) Reviews welcome.
1. First Encounter

The young second prince had settled comfortably into his favorite spot in one of the many beautiful gardens on the palace grounds. He leaned against an ancient willow while two swans glided in slow, lazy circles in the pond before him. The boy was well into a novel when a loud cry caught his attention. It emanated from the nursery in the palace; yet another brother or sister had been added to the growing collection. However, he had not escaped his tutors to listen to a wailing child. Hopefully, the nursemaid would calm the baby soon, but twenty minutes later, the child was still screaming so he decided to investigate.

As he walked back to the palace, the thought crossed his mind to kill the baby. It happened all the time. A baby or young child would die mysteriously and unexpectedly. Often a consort, trying to secure the best status for her own children, and occasionally an elder brother or sister would kill a newborn or young child to eliminate competition.

Upon reaching the nursery, Schneizel discovered that only the still-screaming baby was present. He could easily get rid of the child, and there would be no witnesses. However, he put the thought out of his mind the moment he saw his newborn brother. For now, the second prince would remain innocent of murder.

The tiny boy had raven hair, ivory skin, and deep amethyst eyes. He was still crying, but Schneizel had no idea what he was supposed to do with his fragile looking brother. He picked the tiny infant up, cradling him tightly to his chest and sat on the edge of one of the large, cushioned rocking chairs in the nursery. The baby wriggled with surprising strength, balled his tiny hands into fists, and screamed even louder than before, causing his eyes to pinch tightly shut.

"Shh. Shh. Shhhh…," Schneizel attempted to quiet the baby. Blessedly, the loud cries quieted to soft whimpers when he began rocking the chair. The young prince settled into the chair and moved his little brother so he was lying on his chest.

...

A hand was on his shoulder, he realized as he woke with a start. His still sleepy mind raced. The luxury of an afternoon nap was something the second prince couldn't really afford; it made him an easy target, and his death would be a grand trophy for any number of consorts and nobles.

To his relief, Lady Marianne just smiled at him. "I see that my little Lelouch has taken a liking to you," she said kindly.

But if the truth were to be told, Schneizel had taken a liking to the baby prince. Although he didn't say it, the way he pulled Lelouch closer to his chest gave him away.


	2. Just Dessert

Schneizel sat across from Lelouch, watching the boy's reaction to losing his seventh straight game of chess. Lelouch made no move to eagerly right the pieces for another game as he had the previous times. His head was bowed low; he was desperately close to tears. An outsider watching might have thought Lelouch was being petulant, but Schneizel knew that the combination of Lelouch's pride being hurt and needing a nap made him react this way. He was brilliant, beating every other sibling and noble that would play with him, but Lelouch was only five and simply could not best his beloved brother.

A flash of lightning caught Schneizel's eye. Rain was pounding relentlessly on the windows, and the lack of sunlight gave Schneizel's room a twilight feeling. Schneizel stood and picked Lelouch up from the chair, leaving behind the pile of books where Lelouch had been perched.

As if he had sensed Schneizel's thoughts, Lelouch protested, "I'm not sleepy. I don't want a nap." In spite of his protest, Lelouch laid his head on Schneizel's shoulder and clutched at his lilac colored shirt. Rather than argue with his stubborn little brother, Schneizel walked to a large window and turned so Lelouch could look out it without moving his head. He rested his head on Lelouch's and watched the storm, waiting patiently for the younger prince to fall asleep.

…

Schneizel lay in his bed reading a novel while Lelouch rested comfortably on his chest. This was a familiar ritual for Schneizel, and he cherished every increasingly rare opportunity he had to spend with Lelouch.

"Schneizel, can we build a boat?" Lelouch mumbled.

He smiled. Surely, his little brother was dreaming.

"Schneizel," Lelouch whispered, tugging on his arm, "Can we build a boat like the one in your book? There are lots of wooden blocks that we could use in the nurseries." Lelouch moved to sit up on Schneizel's chest and rub the sleep from his eyes. "Get up now," Lelouch commanded as he bounced up and down.

"Oomph," Schneizel groaned. Lelouch was tiny, but the bouncing on his chest forced the air from his lungs. He caught his brother before his ribs were crushed again and sat up. He decided to humor his brother. "Even if we build the boat, we can't sail it in this terrible weather." As if to emphasize his point, another thunderclap rattled the grand windows in the room.

"I know that," Lelouch replied as if that were the most obvious thing in the world. "I want to build it anyway."

Schneizel did not want to play with blocks. Luckily, he remembered a gift he had been given many years ago by Odysseus. Schneizel walked to the closet, where he began searching for the long forgotten gift. Lelouch joined him.

"What are you looking for?" he asked.

"This," Schneizel replied, holding up a red and gold box, "Is a wooden scale model of a Spanish galleon. We can build this instead." The model boat seemed to appease Lelouch so the princes set to work. The raging storm left them no way to keep track of the time, and the room quickly grew dark long before the normal sunset.

"Candles, Your Majesty," a maid called from the hallway before moving on to the next room.

Schneizel rose to retrieve the much needed candles, and Lelouch followed, tugging lightly at his sleeve.

"Can you make her sneak some dessert to us?" Lelouch whispered.

Schneizel shook his head no. Lelouch, disappointed and pouting, returned to the model ship. Schneizel joined his brother at the table and lit a candle, hesitated before sitting down, and instead returned to the door again. He knew better than this, but he stepped outside his bedroom and called the maid back to his door.


	3. Cold

Seventeen inches of snow had fallen last night, the pond was frozen, and ice hung from the palace, weighed upon every tree, and covered every statue. While the landscape was beautiful, it was also desolate. No person or animal ventured into the cold in the early morning, except Lelouch, who leaned against a willow tree near the pond and shivered. He wore his heaviest coat, a finely crafted scarf, gloves, and hat as well as a large quilt he had taken from his room. No matter how tightly he curled up into the blanket, he still felt the biting chill of the wind.

Lelouch sat deep in thought. Schneizel had returned early this morning from his most recent military trip. Lelouch had woken before the sun had risen and sat eagerly waiting for his brother, but Schneizel had received his enthusiastic greeting with cool indifference. Recently, Schneizel had refused countless games of chess, had not read to him in a month, and would not take time to explain politics, business, or war to him anymore. Cold. Schneizel had been as cold as the wind battering the Lelouch's small body.

A swan landed on the frozen pond, clearly disappointed to find ice on the water that so rarely froze. Lelouch watched, vision blurry from the tears that escaped despite his efforts not to cry. In the distance, he heard someone calling his name, but chose not to respond.

…

Frustrated, Schneizel held a small gift, wrapped in red paper with a white ribbon. He wanted to be the first to wish Lelouch a happy birthday, but could not find the prince anywhere. The second prince sighed; he probably had already blown his chance. Lelouch had been the only person awake to greet him this morning, but Schneizel had been so tired that he had simply ignored his brother.

He walked into the next room, which happened to be the nursery. It was strangely quiet; no new sibling had recently been added to the growing hoard. The prince walked toward the window. Next to his favorite reading tree, he spotted Lelouch's ebony hair, in such stark contrast with the frigid white background.

He ran, forgetting his coat until the wind stung his skin, but the coat was not important right now. He called Lelouch's name repeatedly with no response as he trudged through the heavy snow as quickly as possible, gift still in hand. Finally, he reached his brother. Schneizel knelt on one knee in front of Lelouch, held out the gift, and wished his brother a happy birthday.

"Go away!" Lelouch yelled, turning away from Schneizel. His face was red and wet from tears.

Schneizel ignored Lelouch's ire and plucked the small prince from the drifts of snow, cradling Lelouch's shivering body against his own and placing the gift in his hands. He began making his way back to the warmth of the palace while Lelouch clutched the gift in his small hands. Lelouch was heavier than he remembered, and the realization crushed Schneizel. The second prince had been trying for most of the year to cultivate an image of himself for the public. He had even maintained the façade with his siblings, hiding lies, manipulations, schemes, and intentions perfectly. He had been proud of this achievement until this moment when he recalled the staggering number of times he had snubbed his favorite sibling, usually for no good reason.

Schneizel's bedroom had been empty for the past three weeks, but upon his return, the maid had stoked a cozy fire in his fireplace. He sat down on the edge of his bed with Lelouch still in his arms. The younger prince had said nothing the whole time, had made no move to open his present. While Lelouch's angry outbursts were unpleasant, Schneizel knew from experience that his brother's silent brooding was infinitely worse. Lelouch's ability to sulk and pout far exceeded Schneizel's will to remain unaffected by it. Now eight years old, Lelouch had mastered the tactic and defeated Schneizel every time.

For the first time in seven months, he abandoned all pretenses, his image forsaken. Schneizel moved around Lelouch's rigid form, laying them both down on his bed and covering them with heavy blankets. He wrapped his arms around his shivering brother, snuggled the unyielding boy to himself, and nuzzled the back of his head. A kiss earned a low growl from the younger boy, who still clutched the present in his thin arms.

"Happy birthday, Lelouch." A pause before he continued in a whisper, the most honest he had been in months, "Keep this a secret between you and me; I love you the most."

Finally, a smile lit up that precious little face.


	4. First Words

"Schneizel, he's escaping again."

"You worry too much, Cornelia."

"He's going to get dirty," Cornelia complained.

"He's just a baby. No one will care," Schneizel answered.

"But he ruined his clothes as soon as we got out here. We had to take them off."

Schneizel sighed, "There's nothing out here that can possibly make that diaper any dirtier than he can."

Lelouch crawled toward the edge of the red and white checkered picnic blanket. Still somewhat new to crawling, he lost his balance and rolled over a few times before landing on his stomach.

"He's going to get hurt, and then Lady Marianne will be angry with us," Cornelia whined.

"Enough," Schneizel snapped as he moved to pick up Lelouch. As he had expected, Lelouch did not want to be held and squirmed restlessly in his arms. Hoping milk would appease his wriggling brother, Schneizel tried repeatedly to get his brother to nurse the bottle, but Lelouch wasn't even tempted by the offering. Frustrated, Schneizel set his brother back on the blanket, and Lelouch promptly crawled into the well manicured grass of the palace lawn.

Schneizel watched intently. "I wonder what he's thinking."

"He's just a baby. He's not thinking anything," Cornelia replied, while trying to force a sandwich from the picnic basket into Schneizel's hands.

Schneizel accepted the food, but laid it aside after a few bites. He was more interested in what Lelouch was doing than the food. "Of course he's thinking. Why else would he try to explore what's around him?" Schneizel finally replied.

Lelouch had ventured to a large oak tree where he tumbled over the thick roots and began crying. Cornelia rushed toward Lelouch and scooped him up in her arms, but the stubborn little boy continued wailing despite her best efforts to calm him, which only added to Cornelia's panic. Unfazed, Schneizel smiled bemusedly at his sister's excessive anxiety.

"This was a terrible idea, Schneizel. We are never taking him on a picnic again!"

"Let me have him," Schneizel calmly replied. He examined Lelouch and found only small scrapes on his knees and palms. "You worry too much. Calm down there is nothing truly difficult about taking care of a baby." Schneizel kissed Lelouch's forehead and bounced his brother gently on his knee until he stopped screaming.

Ignoring Schneizel's comment, Cornelia addressed Lelouch, "Who saved you from the big bad tree?"

Lelouch gazed at Cornelia with curious eyes so Schneizel tried again, "Who's got you now?"

In a similar manner, Schneizel and Cornelia continued for quite a while, but the closest the two siblings got to their respective desired answers was Lelouch pointing to the correct sibling and babbling incoherently in response to the questions. Then Lelouch unexpectedly said, "Mama."

"No, Lelouch, not mama," Cornelia replied very disappointed, while Schneizel simultaneously exclaimed "He said his first word!"

"Mama," Lelouch tried again pointing behind Schneizel.

"I think we've confused him," Schneizel observed.

"My precious baby is not confused, Schneizel."

The imperial siblings jumped and turned to face the source of the voice. "Good afternoon, Lady Marianne," they replied in unison.

She smiled in reply while reaching out to take Lelouch, who mirrored his mother leaning forward with his small arms outstretched to meet the anticipated embrace.


	5. Three's a Crowd

Schneizel searched for Lelouch, whom he had not seen all day nor all evening. Disappointed and frustrated, Schneizel decided that he would simply go to bed early. As he made his way to his bedroom, he caught a glimpse of Lelouch through the slightly ajar door of the nursery.

With a nursemaid supervising, a very small Lelouch sat in a chair, holding a pink pudgy baby. Waves of jealousy crashed over Schneizel as he realized that Lelouch's smile, his eyes, his very being radiated love and adoration for the girl. The older prince clenched his jaw until it hurt and suppressed a violent urge to tear the baby from Lelouch's arms. He wanted to keep all Lelouch's love and admiration for himself. Yet as Schneizel watched, he knew that he had lost; Lelouch was holding his real sister, daughter of Lady Marianne.

Schneizel had seen the newest princess shortly after she had been born. He had concluded that there was nothing particularly special about the baby. To Schneizel, the girl was nothing more than a generic, chubby baby with sand colored brown hair. For Schneizel, she lacked the delicate charm and fearless defiance that Lelouch had had as a baby. He had sensed immediately that her eyes would never sparkle with premature understanding the way Lelouch's had and still do. And so he wondered what Lelouch could possibly see that he did not. Why was such a simple girl stealing his favorite brother's affections?

Then, much like it had three years ago, a thought entered his mind; he could simply kill the baby. Oh but Lelouch. Lelouch was already attached to the girl. He would cry and pout, and then the endless questions would follow. No, Schneizel could not kill the girl. Lelouch was bright enough to catch Schneizel in such a lie, and then he would surely lose Lelouch's love.

"Schneizel, Schneizel, come see my sister!" Lelouch chirped, having noticed his brother standing in the hallway.

For a moment Schneizel did not move before he finally entered the room and stood stiffly next to the chair where Lelouch sat. Lelouch continued his happy chatter, unaware of his brother's hostility. Wanting to leave, Schneizel ruffled the boy's hair. His little brother smiled and looked up, his big amethyst eyes meeting Schneizel's own cool lilac eyes. Schneizel shuddered involuntarily. No he could not kill the princess; he could not risk losing the precious boy holding the brat. He would tolerate the girl's existence, but he was determined to never love her.


	6. Lies

Schneizel did not normally take spoils from the war, but in his room sat a marvelous piece of art he just couldn't resist. A beautiful swan made entirely of clear glass with incredible detail - the sculpture looked more life-like than a living swan. The young prince had taken the swan and much more from a princess of a nation that had been recently conquered.

However, when he entered his chambers, the gleaming and glorious swan did not greet his eyes. No, instead shards of glass covered the floor, and in the middle of the mess was Lelouch hands covered in blood and crying.

Schneizel grabbed his younger brother by the shoulders and shook him, yelling, "What have you done? You ruined it!"

"It was an accident…"

"Shut up!" Schneizel yelled cutting Lelouch off.

"But Schneizel, I didn't mean to. It was an accident. Please," Lelouch begged, sobbing.

"Just shut up!" Schneizel yelled shaking Lelouch once more before he threw him to the ground. A short silence followed. The older prince found himself feeling satisfied, having hurt Lelouch for ruining what had been his most prized possession. Schneizel looked down on the boy lying crumpled against the wall. Looked down on Lelouch literally and metaphorically. Then there was the sound of a sharp intake of air into empty lungs followed by uncontrollable sobbing. Schneizel's conscience struggled to dislodge Schneizel's feeling of superiority, but a pang of guilt began to gnaw at his insides.

Lelouch was really hurt. His mind felt sluggish. _Hurt. Lelouch. Blood. He's not moving._ Like a switch flipping, Schneizel's instincts as a brother took over. Gingerly, he approached Lelouch to comfort him, but Lelouch feebly tried to move away from Schneizel, but the attempt was made in vain. Schneizel gently cradled his brother in his arms.

"Please, don't hurt me anymore," Lelouch whispered, almost inaudibly.

Schneizel felt the full weight of his guilt. He carried Lelouch to the infirmary. The doctor eyed Schneizel suspiciously, and the older prince was about to confess his transgression, but Lelouch lied for him. He lied, saying he was jumping on the bed and fell. The look on the doctor's face clearly showed that he did not believe Lelouch, not even a little. As the doctor examined him, it was obvious that the injuries were too severe. The blood. His ribs, his shoulder, his wrists were all going to bruise at least if they weren't broken. As Lelouch was shuffled around for different tests and treatments, Schneizel remained rooted firmly where he was, mouth slightly agape, and hunting for any reason he could that Lelouch would lie for him.


End file.
